BACK ON HOME SOIL
I have decided to take refuge from the cold Winter weather in London’s Seven Dials Market. While this climate is in stark contrast to the warm temperatures I was walking around in just a week ago, it strangely doesn’t feel too dissimilar from Melbourne. In fact my coffee was just served by two Aussie’s! London has the same bustle, the same multicultural feel and its own foodie culture just like Melbourne.
I.love.home. I love our funny British habits, I love our history and traditions, I love our architecture, I love how we celebrate Christmas, I love our countryside, I love how easy it is to get from one end of the country to the other. These are just a few of the things I really missed while I was away- particularly in my first few months of being in Melbourne. It almost seemed there was some pretence in Melbourne that didn’t feel right at first. In the city everything seemed a bit superficial, it lacked depth and history like London has. The buildings were all different from one another with some being very modern, some being quite American looking. Restaurants fought for popularity against one another based on their Instagram following. Fashion seemed quite limited and samey. I was convinced that I would be home by April. But as I delved into the Australian lifestyle even more I picked up on the real culture of Melbourne. The vibrance of Chapel Street at night, the leafy neighbourhood suburbs of Hawthorn, the tranquility of the outer suburban beaches like Black Rock, the affluence of South Yarra, the tattoos and grunge in Northern suburbs like Fitzroy. My commute to work comprised of observing this diversity right from my seat on the train, from Windsor all the way through to Moorabbin- god that commute was bloody long, but to this day I have no regrets given my love for that job!
It seems really surreal to be sat here reflecting on my year in Melbourne already. The fact that less than a week ago I was sat on a plane with numb legs, wriggling around to find a position to sleep in on the 24 hour flight. After we landed I felt nervous to see my family again (ridiculous I know) but as we were sat in the car chatting on our way back from Heathrow, everything felt completely normal again. Even flicking the kettle on to make a cup of tea for my Auntie when she popped in to visit that afternoon felt normal. It felt the same when friends came over that week and we were lying on my bed as if nothing had changed. I felt elated to be reunited with everyone, but another part of me was really sad- it’s as if Australia was just some crazy dream that i’ve woken up from and everyone I met there was fictional.
My blog has mostly illustrated the hard parts of being away- dealing with adversity in finding a job, making genuine friendships, learning social norms, financial struggles, creating a new routine and adapting to the lifestyle. But since landing back in England these lows have almost been erased from my mind by the complete highs I’ve experienced. I’m in the honeymoon period of my return where everyone is messaging to meet up, we’re reminiscing on old times and planning events around Christmas and New Year, but I can’t help but fear the feeling of inadequacy after the festive period. Everything will be back to normal, everyone will be at work, we will have had another general election, and the bleak English weather will no longer be concealed by the excitement of the festive period. And what’s next? I don’t have a job, i’m living back at home with my parents and already my mum is banging on at me for putting the recycling out incorrectly. Meanwhile on the other side of the world Melbourne is approaching its Summer. Beach parties, festivals, sports events such as the Australian Open- the first event I went along to with my new group of friends last year! I had a job I loved, a healthy lifestyle I loved, a shared apartment I loved. I was amongst an environment where I was able to live mindfully every single day. I’ve matured, i’m much more open-minded, my vision in what I want from life is clearer and I could see the potential to fulfil this in Melbourne. I was one step closer to fulfilling this day by day. Whereas now it feels as if i’ve taken a step backwards. I’m struggling to articulate how I will go about pursuing this vision in England, it seemed clearer in Australia. Sure, I have an interview with Lululemon in London next week, but what if it doesn’t work out? What if I can’t stand the commute? What’s next? Do I continue the search for my career in other areas, do I travel again? How can I find a way of getting back to Melbourne?
Don’t get me wrong, England will always be home deep in my heart. My family, my best friends and my childhood memories are here, but I can’t help but feel as if Melbourne is where my life will prosper and i’m meant to be. I’m excited by the ambiguity of what the future holds for my career, but i’m fixated on making it back to Melbourne permanently at some point in my life.
My home Down Under 🇦🇺
