EARLY FINDINGS
In my first few weeks here I have already learnt a few important lessons about travelling alone, and I pondered upon these while setting up this blog in a cafe with a lovely view down one of the laneway’s (Block Place, just off of Little Collins Street).
Centre Place, Melbourne CBD
No matter how excited and prepared you are, you will sometimes feel down and question that decision to move away.
I couldn’t wait to move away and live independently again after spending 18 months living back at home with my family. It felt like the right time to venture out and have a routine which wouldn’t interfere with that of my parents, but just the first week into my trip I was already feeling homesick. I think this is because I was wandering around the city aimlessly with absolutely no connections to anyone around me. The irrational thoughts of self-doubt came into play after just three days of arriving here and I was questioning whether I had bitten off more than I could chew. “How do I begin to make friends?” “Is there something wrong with me for not having met anyone yet?” “Will I even manage to find a job?”. From the comfort of having a diverse social group back at home to having no-one was hugely overwhelming and I sought reassurance. This leads on to my second point.
2. No matter how confident you are socialising with new people, meeting people that you can establish friendships with isn’t immediate and easy.
I think I arrived with a naive and almost ignorant approach to making friends. I felt that because I never had an issue with making friends at home it would be no different abroad. I shortly realised that this is not strictly the case, regardless of whether you’re outgoing or not.
Those small interactions in coffee shops, supermarkets, trials at the gym, etc, are lovely and are just an introduction to the friendly, open-minded Australian culture. But that isn’t to say that these people are always going to ask what you’re doing at the weekend, invite you for dinners, etc, they have their own lives to deal with after all! I suppose a relatable experience is starting university, although in your first year at university every Fresher is in the same position and equally as keen to build their friendship groups. This is more like joining a new team half way through university when there is already a well-established network of people to break into. It requires a little bit more to put yourself out there in this environment, welcoming any given social opportunity regardless if you’re not usually in with their crowd. I’ve been fortunate enough to find a housemate I share lots in common with and likewise enjoy the company of her friends, as well as making friends through the gym. A few weeks in and I am beginning to find my feet on the social front and can’t wait to continue meeting people through work and Crossfit! From what I gather it’s a very different experience to have to meet people when you are living somewhere to when you are backpacking and staying in hostels.
3. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
This was actually something my Dad said after I told him I had been feeling homesick and was worried I’d made the wrong decision to move here. It’s quite self-explanatory and it has really stuck with me.
4. You are doing this for yourself and no-one else.
Linked with my previous bullet point. Overcoming those difficulties is part of the experience, and I need to remind myself that it is how I deal with these which will shape me as a person. I came out here not only to establish what I want from a career, but to learn more about myself and my weaknesses, to learn to not let external circumstances give me any trouble. This can be taken as far as saying that there is no point in worrying about what people think because it’s beyond my control. Like many others, I am guilty of allowing myself to be consumed by the concern for what others think of me, so fuck it- this is my year to just go and be myself! (Cringe, but very much true).
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Happy Sunday everyone!
